1. It’s the end of your final semester, you’ve finished your last paper and you’re elated! You’ve got a grad trip planned and some money set aside to tide you over while you take your time searching for a job – life has never been better.
2. But when the excitement of finally putting 15 years of studying behind you has worn out, it finally starts to sink in. You’ve really graduated.
3. And then you realise. You have no idea what you’re going to do with your life. Like, what is ambition?
4. You go through job search sites, swearing that arts degree has to have prepared you for something.
5. You write beautiful cover letters going on about how you’re a “hardworking and responsible worker” and how you feel you’d be “a perfect fit for the company”.
6. You play up that 3 month internship with that random company where you dabbled in marketing and “digital content management” – which really means you put together goodie bags and collaterals, and helped schedule Facebook posts.
7. After writing and rewriting that CV, you finally send it in to a dozen companies that you would reeeeally love working for.
8. The longest week (or two, or three) of your life passes you by. You jump every time your phone’s vibration goes off and twitch violently whenever a phone rings – even if the phone belongs to someone three tables away.
10. Then, finally, you get a call inviting you down for an interview.
11. You dress yourself up better than you have since that first time you had dinner with your partner’s parents, fill a briefcase-like bag full of nothing but air and maybe skittles, and skip on down to your interview.
12. You all but fall into the interview room, meet with three grim-faced white collars, and smile nervously at them.
13. You crack a joke to ease the tension. Nothing happens.
14. But all in all, the interview goes okay. Nothing horrible happens, but nothing wonderful does either.
15. The waiting commences. Again.
16. In the meantime you have so much time on your hands, you start to appreciate how uncrowded the malls are on weekday afternoons.
17. You start to get so bored at home you look for any excuse to go out and do just about anything.
18. But then your funds begin to dwindle, and you really start to sweat.
19. To make things worse, more and more of your friends start getting job offers. And even though you genuinely are happy for them, you can’t help but start panicking internally even as you smilingly congratulate them on their new jobs.
20. You decide to lower your standards and send your CV out to another dozen or so companies that you… wouldn’t mind working for.
21. More waiting.
22. More friends get jobs.
23. More interviews. More waiting. You start to really lose it.
24. You ask yourself “What am I doing with my life?”on a daily basis and start to feel really talentless and unwanted.
25. Desperation sets in. You send out a couple more CVs to companies that you have never heard of and have no idea what they do.
26. Just as you’re about to give up and seriously consider a career in road sweeping, you get a call. That person from that interview you had weeks ago was really impressed with you and would love to have you on board.
27. Hurrah! You finally got a job offer! Congratulations, and welcome to the working world! It sucks. But hey at least you’ve got the cash for alcohol to drown your miseries in! Woohoo! Life is great.
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