1. Greeting your elders and swapping oranges during Chinese New Year (CNY) doesn’t freak you out any longer.
2. Plus, buying new clothes and receiving red packets aren’t the most thrilling parts of CNY anymore.
3. Though CNY goodies definitely still top the list (because pineapple tarts and bak kwa are frikkin’ amazing).
4. When visiting, you hear more phrases like “higher equity”, “HDB prices” and “my boss really sucks” around the house, rather than “Disney”, “Legos”, and “Mummy, I need to pee.”
5. A tiny part of you actually feels bad about receiving red packets from the older generation.
6. And instead of champing at the bit to waste your red packet money on frivolous things, you wonder if you should be saving – or investing – it instead.
7. You no longer chat solely with the other “kids” – and by “kids” I mean the people from your generation, who could be up to the age of 30. Instead, you actually find yourself being able to hold comfortable conversations with the “adults” – and by “adults” I mean older adults.
8. Your aunts and uncles no longer hold back their crass and inappropriate jokes in front you.
9. Or maybe they’ve never held back and you only just realised how incredibly dirty – and hilarious – their jokes are.
10. Instead of your parents arguing over whether a certain movie “appropriate” for you to watch, it’s you arguing with your parents over whether The Avengers is too violent for the kids – and I mean the real kids i.e. the below 13s.
11. Oh and your parents aren’t the ones keeping an eye on the amount of beer you’re guzzling down; you’re the ones making sure they aren’t too drunk to drive home.
12. Actually, it’s perfectly fine if they’re too drunk to drive home. Because you actually have a driving license and are perfectly able to play chauffeur for a day.
13. Fielding the usual CNY questions like “Where’s your bf/gf?” “How much do you earn?” and “Can you give me Candy Crush lives?” is no longer a problem – you handle them like a pro.
14. You look at the children running around and wonder: “Damn. Do they think I’m old the way I thought *insert super old cousin here* was?”
15. Unfortunately, deep down inside, you know they do.
16. One of the kids happily tell you they have the same Zodiac sign as you… and you realise that means you’re a whole 12 years older than the girl who’s preparing for her PSLE….
17. You consider visiting your friends’ houses not for the red packet, but because you genuinely want to 拜年 (bai nian) with their parents.
18. You actually have friends and cousins who are now giving red packets instead of receiving them.
19. And then you realise… you’re going to be one of them in just.. a few.. years….
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