20 Signs You Really, Really Hate People

1. The idea of getting your ass out of bed, dressing up and stepping out of your front door is just

Michael scott no

2. When you take public transport, you can’t help but think:

theres-too-many-people-on-this-earth-we-need-a-plague

3. You’re on your way to meet a friend and then you get a text from her saying she’s brought a tag-along.

This is your reaction:

dont need another friend

4. You find yourself praying that plans get cancelled all the time.

cancelling plans

5. When you get invited to a house party, you pray to God they’ve got a pet so you can act busy and not interact with actual human beings.

6. When people tap you on the shoulder, or try to do that cheek-kissy thing that white people love, or touch you in any way:

you-dont-know-me-like-that

7. When someone whips out a camera and everyone squeals in delight, you’re just like:

Robert Downey Jr Pained Photo Taking

8. You loovvvveee the internet. And the invention of mobile phones. And anything that keeps you an active member of society without actually having to be in physical contact with anyone.

all hail internet

9. But sometimes Facebook, or any other form of social media for that matter, really pisses you off.

fuck facebook south park

10. In fact, this is you when scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed:

Grinch Hate Hate

11. And your face when you see couples posting mushy crap on each other’s timelines:

Epic eye roll

12. You’re cool with small group outings or one-on-ones, but when your friends drag you out of your house for a party, you’re just like:

Kurt Glee Raging Silence

13. And when people go up to you and ask: “Why so glum, chum?” Or anything to that effect, you fight the urge to tell them:

Aubrey Plaza hate talking

14. AND CLUBBING. OH GOD CLUBBING IS BASICALLY TORTURE

Clubbing snooki

15. And when you see people in large groups at the mall or at the park being all loud and annoying, you mentally transform into a cranky eighty-year-old lady

stop behavin so stupid

16. Even when you go for networking sessions, all that goes through your mind is:

tina fey amy poehler hate everyone

17. You have more missed calls than answered calls in your phone list. And when people ask why you missed their call you’re just like

missed your call basement of brain

18. But seriously, why do people keep insisting on calling? I mean, have they not heard of text?
jesse pinkman seriously

19. When an extrovert talks about how much they hate people. You’re just:

margaery tyrell game of thrones pity “Bitch, please.”

20. And when people tell you how you should “get out more”, in your mind you’re just:

Liz-Lemon-Eye-Roll

 

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, you may also enjoy: 26 Unforgettable Things That Happened In Popular Culture in 201320 Ways to Know You’re In A Long-Term Relationship and my latest entry, 18 Signs You’re In Love With Your Mobile Phone.

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362 comments

  1. dirtypatchouli · · Reply

    I wouldn’t dare show this to my wife. She would say, “That is YOU,” and then go off on a rant about me not being social enough. Oh, and numbers 9 & 10. That is exactly me. Great post!

  2. Oh Lord.

    This is WAY TOO CLOSE TO THE BONE!

    Too funny!

  3. Love this!! Thank you!

  4. Okay, then, it’s official. I hate people. Well, not really. I’d just rather not be around them. I’m an introvert. Sue me.

  5. jennybird · · Reply

    Reblogged this on the jennifer julian and commented:
    Sadly, I pretty much fit all of these, and my kids agree.

  6. Nice post. This is entertaining and i like #11 a lot.

  7. After reading this, ‘Absolutely’ I hate people.
    Nice diagnosis.

  8. […] 20 Signs You Really, Really Hate People. […]

  9. Girl, Intoxicated · · Reply

    I’m guilty of 18 – it’s so much easier to ignore people through text!

  10. […] 20 Signs You Really, Really Hate People. […]

  11. kelly505050 · · Reply

    So I’m not alone in my needing to be alone! I cross the street when I see someone I know, never answer the phone, procrastinate about returning messages and am a serious “eye roller” when it comes to people talking on and on.

  12. […] 20 Signs You Really, Really Hate People. […]

  13. Dear Peek-a-boo · · Reply

    Love this! Guilty for number 8,11 and 16

  14. Well, on second thoughts Im One! :D

  15. Bwahaha! Im none of these, but this is Hilarious!

  16. […] 20 Signs You Really, Really Hate People. […]

  17. I think you love people who love to hate people…

  18. Great with morning tea.

1 5 6 7 8 9 18

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