Shit that happens when using Windows

So for those who don’t know (which is most people), my beloved 1.5 year-old Macbook Air died on Sunday. It was a peaceful death. I tucked it into bed on Saturday night, and when I woke up on Sunday, sadly, it didn’t. When I tried to resurrect it, that beautiful Mac start-up sound that once gave me heart turned into an incessant repetitive bonnnnnggg bonnnggggg bonnnnnggggg. So I had no choice but to send it to the hospital. Hopefully it will be discharged today.

Anyhow. Seeing that my work is home-based, I had to resort to using my home desktop which is a Windows computer. And let me just put this out there. I AM COMPLETELY STUPID WHEN IT COMES TO WINDOWS COMPUTERS.

This is the shit that has happened to me in the past 24 hours while using Windows.

1) I couldn’t get the sound to work. I tried that little speaker icon at the bottom right of the screen, pounded on the mouse left-click like a Dota gamer on the Youtube sound button, screamed at the computer, threatened to have it mauled by my dog and found out 30 minutes later that the speakers weren’t plugged in.

2) I spent an hour looking for free image editing programmes (because photo editing is part of my jobscope). Eventually,  I found two programmes on Cnet but I spent another hour figuring out how to use them. In the end I gave up and downloaded the trial version of Photoshop *cough*trial,sure*cough*.

3) Clicked F3 a million times thinking all my windows would disperse like they do in Mac. I MISS YOU EXPOSE :(

4) Clicked F12 a billion times when trying to hit backspace because I have a habit of touch typing and this keyboard is just SO BIZARRE TO ME.

5) Kept closing windows thinking the programmes would still be open and GET FUCKING PISSED OPENING EACH PROGRAMME LIKE FIVE MILLION TIMES.

6) Had my rabbit lick my feet. Aww that has nothing to do with computers it was just being really sweet.

7) Flipped out at freaking because it kept freaking appearing as my new tab homepage even though I disabled it on chrome. Turns out that its search bar was downloaded on INTERNET EXPLORER and it seeped into my computer and frikkin infected chrome as well as every other browser on the com I bet. Sneaky bastards. Nice try. I gotcha.

8) Flipped out at Hotspot Shield for filling up like a quarter of my screen each time it tries to connect. STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

9) This one is the kicker. A windows update thingy popped up telling me it was going to restart in 15 minutes. At least it gave me warning, THOUGH IT DID NOT GIVE ME A CHOICE – those bastards. So I saved my work in time, let it shut down.

Eight Candy Crush games later…

Windows 7 shutting down screen


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