Baby it’s cold outside

It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m down with some sort of stomach flu, which explains why I’m here blogging instead of spending it with loved ones.. But I’m surprisingly okay with it. Cos if I went out I’d probably be vomiting my guts out on the stroke of midnight. Like “3,2,1 BBBBAAARRRRRRFFFF” That would be a real sucky start to the new year.

But since it is New Year’s Eve, here’s the obligatory end-year post that I think is more than necessary in light of how eventful 2012 has been.

Germaine's goth party JJFN Christmas 2012
UWA class party
Friends-wise, March marked the first year since we graduated from poly. We saw friendships falling apart and coming together, lovers breaking up, cliques splintering, best friends drifting. It was almost like after a year of trying so hard to keep ties strong, we started to accept that life goes on and we decided to move on with it. Daily messages were reduced to weeklies and weekend meetups became monthly dinners and eventually barely at all. I suddenly found myself busy, not with socialising, but with work and school related stuff. It was weird, and it was sad. But I think what I learnt was that close friendships shouldn’t need so much effort. That isn’t to say that we shouldn’t make any effort at all. But true friendships shouldn’t really need daily messages or weekly meetups to be maintained. At this point, after 3-4 years of friendship, we ought to know that we’re still in each other’s hearts and minds even if we don’t communicate as much as before. If not then it wasn’t a real friendship at all. I think when push comes to shove, I more or less know which friends would be there and which wouldn’t. And I just hope they know that I would do the same for them too.

What journalists do
In terms of my career, or lack of it, it’s been crazy eventful this year. In 2013 alone I worked 3 different jobs, jumping from SPH, to an ad agency and then to a magazine publisher. I have discovered that ad copywriting is not for me, but journalism might be. But I just wonder how far it could take me. If I could ever, one day, make it as an editor of a magazine and what I’d have to do to take me there. Sometimes I wonder if it was a good thing starting work so early. I mean, I was only 20 when I started work full-time at SPH when most people don’t get jobs until they’re 24 or so. But I suppose it’s better to make mistakes early so I get off on the right foot when I finally get my degree. Time will tell.

But the good thing about working is that 2012 was the year that I finally became financially stable. I was no longer down to 0 in my bank account before my next pay cheque came in. And surprisingly, I was most stable when I stopped full-time work. It seems like that more you earn, the more you spend. And when you know you’re not getting a steady income, you subconsciously cut back on like everything. (Except when it came to facial packages DO NOT BUY FACIAL GROUPONS – but that’s another story for another day)

Of course, my relationship is a huge part of my life and in 2012 we crossed the infamous 6 month mark which meant like nonstop fighting, but we survived and made it to our first anniversary when things simmered down a bit (phew!). I don’t think I’ve learnt as much from other relationships as I have from this one simply because I think we’re both such complex people that the relationship is in turn insanely complex. But that’s a good thing because that means we never fall into routine and every day’s a new adventure. Not always physically, since we’re both lazy asses, but mentally and emotionally. Even til today I never know for sure what he’s thinking or feeling, and it feels like an endless journey figuring each other out. But I think it’s a beautiful thing. Even more so that 16 months into our relationship and we’re still insanely in love with each other and there’s no doubt in my mind that he would do anything for me, as I would for him.

As for my family, I think I’ve sort of mended ties with them quite a bit. I no longer feel the need to avoid them as much as possible, and I don’t look forward to moving out as much as I used to. Strangely enough, I’m actually starting to find comfort in my home now – something that I never thought possible before.

Was 2012 a good year for me? Erm no. But it was… Interesting to say the least. It was one of those interim years where nothing really life changing happens. Just sort of small events that will build up to something (hopefully) big in the future.

New Years Resolution, Calvin Hobbes
So here are my New Year’s goals. (Goals because resolutions seem to be jinxes that bring you in the opposite of your intended direction). Here we go!

1. Spend more time on myself
That means less on watching and rewatching tv serials and movies to distract myself from my own thoughts. More reading, catching up on music and just learning to chill.

2. Be more patient
I’ve started to work on this already, though not very successfully. I need to be more patient with friends, groupmates and most importantly, my boyfriend – my bad temper has gotten us into more than a few unnecessary fights :(

3. Express more positive emotions
Oh lord knows I need this lol. I think 2012 was a year of self-discovery for me too. And I rediscovered this positive side deep deep deep inside of me. I realized that it isn’t that I’m a horribly negative person, but that I’ve always only considered negative thoughts worth expressing. Of course, I see that it isn’t true now so I really hope to start exuding more positivity.

4. Manage my finances better
I think we all need this. My priority now is to save some money since I’m not spending much anymore. Hehe good luck to me! No more online shopping or facial packages grrr.

5. Gather the courage to discuss going to Perth for a sem with my parents
I’m still in two minds about this. One because it’d be expensive for my parents. And the other because it’d look so good on my portfolio and give my sad degree some sort of saving grace.

6. Take care of myself
Now that I’m no longer in my teens, I think it’s about time I start looking after my health. No more skipping meals or eating Nutella by the bottle boooo. And I’m also determined to get trim the healthy way, work on my skin and try to put more effort in my appearance when I go out. Another thing is my crazy sleeping habits. Need to find a way to stop oversleeping heh.

Well, this has turned out to be a rather wordy post that took my short attention span 4 hours to write cos I kept getting distracted lololol. It’s actually 12.45am already. So happy new year! And let’s hope 2013 is pretty kickass (:


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